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Difference Between a slave and a sub

(Updated May 3, 2011-Still in Progress)

It is the same way for a man who identifies himself as a submissive. I beleive that some submissives are confused and think that if they are submissive they must be a slave. There is a simple self-test that a submissive can do to see if he is a true slave. Ask yourself this question: "As a submissive, would my sole concern be to make another mans life happier or better by turning over all control of my life to another man and sublimate my sexual needs and strive to subjgate my ego?" If the answer to that question is "no" then the chances are very good that you are not a slave. And this is alright. Not everyone is cut out to be slave or a Master. Personally I believe that both the true Master and the true slave are born and it is just a matter of time before that part of their personalities is awakened. Certainly it is true that a part of the slave's nature is submissive it is only a part of thier nature. Just as being dominant is a part of the nature of a Master, but it is not the submissive or dominant nature that alone make either individual.

A submissive will not be as open to a Master's protocols as a true slave. A true slave welcomes a Master's protocols because above all else he is concerned with pleasing his Master only. Unlike the true slave who lives his station 24/7, the submissive is less likely to be so focused and will not easily conform to a Master's protocols and finds them too limiting and restrictive. The true slave will welcome a Master's discipline without derision or criticism (even if it is only in the slave's mind) amd learn from his mistakes without ever trying to justify his actions. Sexually, the true slave surrenders himself totally to the Master and does not seek his own pleasure. If the Master decides to allow the slave to have an orgasm the true slave is grateful and albeit sometimes hesitant. However, this is not always the case as the true slave will want the Master to have any pleasure He desires to take, including the slave's orgasm. Many Masters, Myself included, enjoy the sexual heat of a slave and want him to orgasm (mostly becuase I admit to being a cum pig).

Following are some charactersitics that a Master should look for in order to identify a true or authentic slave:

Exhibits the correct manner in which to approach a Master.
Has experience in ser ving other Master's either full time or part time and can prove it.
Has a high ethical attitude.
Moral courage to be who he is without self-judgement.
A person who alredy lives their lives like a slave.
Has the ability to explain how it invokes self-discipline.
Is a clear commnunicator.
Exhibits compassion and a gentle heart.
Someone who can explain situations that exhibit adaptable behavior to new situations.
Someone who understands what applying knowledge to behavior means.
A person who clearly understands the demands that a structured relationship can bring.
Does not present the Master with a laundry list of things he will accept and not accept.
A person who is in control of themselves despite any prior experiences with a Master or Dom.
Does not use his own likes/dislikes as criteria for choosing a Master.
A person who understands clearly that life is changeable and that they will support a Master regardless of what happens in life.
The slave is able to differenctiate reality from fantasy and understand that a Master has other responsibilities that may take His time away from the slave.
A postitive outlook on things rather than looking at everything negatively.
A slave that has the ability to reflect on things and has the ability to think before he speaks.
A person who invites a Master's protocols.
A person who exhibits a relatively high level of skill or the potential of developing skills.
The ability and desire to be transparent toward a Master.
Demonstrates through the things they say that they seek slavery as the way to thier own self-realization and potential as a human being.

A Word About slave Transparency

Transparency is the dynamic of the total power exchange between a Master and His slave. In many ways what this means for the slave is that he focuses on overcoming his own ego; being aware of it; learning to understand it and controlling it. This means that a slave must be able to develop a connection to himself and to see himself as he really is. While it is important for a Master to exhibit the qualities of transparency (and a competent Master will) toward His slaves, it is more critical for the slave to adopt an attitude of transparency toward his Master and himself. A slave who rationalizes his own behavior is not transparent. A slave that makes excuses for his behavior, whether the Master is aware of it or not, is not transparent. A slave must be diligent to watch his thoughts and be aware of his actions, reactions and observations. There can be no hidden agenda or recriminating thoughts toward his Master.

The Buddhist philosophy about ego clinging is a perfect example. Buddhists practice meditation in varoius forms as a vehicle toward self-understanding. A slave that is closed off to himself will be closed off to his Master. A slave that is unable to look at himself without blinders will harbor secrets. This slave will continuously test a Master, His resolve, His protocols and never quite be able to let go of himself. In order to see yoursself as you really are, both slave and Master must be able to see it all; all the smelly awful things that you are, all the things you would rather not reveal about yourself. Only in this way can you identify the things you may need to change. If there are things about you that you don't think you can change right away then it's okay; at least you were able to identify these things. There is time and time can heal many things.

Being transparent to your Master does not mean that you blurt out everything that comes to mind. It also doss not mean that you bother your Master with every little thing that you may judge to be wrong; a wrong thought; a wrong desire; a wrong action. The rule of thumb here is that if there is something that you think you need to discuss with your Master beacause you think it is important...don't! When in doubt, don't. Give it time. Let the thought or observation or whatever it is rest in your head for a bit. Give a few hours, a day, a week. If the urge to tell your Master about it does not disappear then approach him with your thoughts. Obviously a slave has to use his head when it comes to being transparent toward his Master.

Transparency also means allowing a Master to do his job. That means the slave should never second guess his Master's decisions or protocols. Many slaves unwittingly try and manipulate their Masters by using transparency. "Well Sir, I was just trying to be as transparent as possible." In reality the slave is prodding the Master to take some action. This can become very tedious to a Master and cause a Master to lose interest in a slave. A slave that scrutinizes everything a Master does is not practicing transparency. Better that the slave should scrutinize himself more often than he scrutinizes his Master.

It is a relatively easy task for a Master to recognize a slave that will have difficulty with transarency; he will likely cling rapaciously to his particular story-line. This means that he clings to the story of his life as he sees it. The slave's story line defines him and provides him with excuses for the way that he is or behaves. Some slave's who cling to thier story-lines are those who will use experiences with prior Masters to define who they are and how they behave. This is not transparency. While we all have our baggage, the true slave will be able to separate himself from prior experiences, having learned from them, and move on.

A slave that is able to present his Master with a balanced sense of transparency will provide a wide girth of growth possibilities for his relationship to his Master. It is a two-way street. A Master who practices transparency toward His slave will never keep the slave guessing concerning the slave's actions or behaviors. A Master that is honest and forthright will not likely have to make any special effort to be transparent, His behavior in that respect will be self evident.

Main Difference Between A sub And A slave

slaves themselves could probably point out the things that they consider to be the main differences between a slave and a sub, however, from a Master's standpoint the main difference is the mindset or to put it another way; the way the person is wired...thier orientation. Whereas a sub will almost always have needs of their own but a slave's needs will be or eventually evolve to be the same as the Master's needs. A true slave will direct his orientation from himself to the Master. The slave's capacity for selflessness (Definition) is much stronger and focused than that of a sub.

An effective comparison would be a slave to a Buddhist monk. buddhist monks find peace and fulfillment in surrendering their will while performing their duties at the ashram or within the community that buddhists refer to as the Sangha (Definition). Monks offer their labors as an act of devotion and love, regardless of how small or menial the task may be. In fact, at times, the more menial the task is the more the monk uses the opportunity to work on becoming more aware of himself. In many ways the slave is also of this mindset. A slave will feel comfortable in deferring to his Master and using such statements as, "Whatever pleases You, Master.".

Conditional slavery

A sub will likely have many more conditions regarding his service to a Master, while on the otherhand a slave will have far less. Not that a slave will not have conditions, he will, but as the slave evolves in service to his Master and trusts the Master more, the slave's need for conditions will eventaully fall away. In fact, as time goes on slaves often begin to feel uncomfortable having any conditions as they \ feel that it restricts the quality of service to their Master and they begin to feel like they are compromising their own abilities to grow as a slave.

A Word About Synergy Between a True slave and his Master

( "Human synergy relates to humans. For example, say person A alone is too short to reach an apple on a tree and person B is too short as well. Once person B sits on the shoulders of person A, they are more than tall enough to reach the apple. In this example, the product of their synergy would be one apple. Another case would be two politicians. If each is able to gather one million votes on their own, but together they were able to appeal to 2.5 million voters, their synergy would have produced 500,000 more votes than had they each worked independently. A song is also a good example of human synergy, taking more than one musical part and putting them together to create a song that has a much more dramatic effect than each of the parts when played individually. A third form of human synergy is when one person is able to complete two separate tasks by doing one action. For example, if a person was asked by a teacher and his boss at work to write an essay on how he could improve his work, that would be considered synergy. Or, a more visual example of this synergy is a drummer using four separate rhythms to create one drum beat. Synergy usually arises when two persons with different complementary skills cooperate. In business, cooperation of people with organizational and technical skills happens very often. In general, the most common reason why people cooperate is it brings a synergy. On the other hand, people tend to specialize just to be able to form groups with high synergy (see also division of labor and teamwork)."-WikiPedia.)

"When a slave is fortunate enough to get connected to a Master who enjoys, or wants to enjoy, having a slave who aspires to a condition-free relationship, as they spend more and more time together, some amazing things begin to happen. As our slaving conditions begin to fall away and our surrender deepens, the feeling of being connected to our Master expands. Once it has expanded sufficiently, slaves fall in love with the Master - we cannot do otherwise - it just happens. At that point. the Master becomes our lifeline and our dependence on Him becomes manifest. Be then, we have placed our lives in His hands many times and we get to a place in our heads where we long to deny Him - nothing - nothing at all."

I maintain that when a true, competent Master and a true slave are united then, although coming from two different directions, a synergy begins to form that finds a natural compliment to each other. The salve learns to dance to the Master's tune without really thinking about what he is doing...it just happens. When a slave begins to find complete release through service to his Master, the Master will respond by allowing himself to get closer to a slave...not in the sense of a vanilla relationship, but the Master begins to trust that slave with His world. Many slaves have a direct hand in running their Master's world.

The folowing article was borrowed from the Internet. There are some concepts in the article that I do not agree with but it is a good article nonetheless.

Different Types of Submission in BDSM: Submissive, Slave and Pet
Chloe Thorn

In the BDSM lifestyle there are largely three different types of submissives, and when speaking to them, they will tell you with pride which they are and why. The following is a small idea of the differences, in no way giving all the details that are involved with the vast array of men and women that submit.
Submissive - As a submissive you are in the first tier lets say of a Dominant/submissive lifestyle. You submit to your Master, you give up control for long periods of time. However you have your opinions and your choices and you can still make them. Say you do the dishes and pay the bills, these things usually are still under your control. It changes only during set times and parameters. There is also the thought of the "power balance" between dominant and submissive. Meaning that in a submissive role although you give up the control the power is really still 50/50 just in a different setting and under more intense circumstances. Sex is usually a large part of this relationship and mostly where the submission enters in. Now don't get me wrong the intensity is still strong and the punishments and pain are real and overwhelming however you have more of an option to stop and this doesn't spill over into the everyday that much.

There are parts of this first description that I disagree with. It is not the concept that I disagree with it is the use of certain words and the context in which they are used. For instance; Here the author uses the words "Dominant/submissive" in connection with a slave's submitting to a Master as thought Dominant and submissive are proper nouns. The words "dominant" and "submissive" are merely adjectives that describe a personality characteristic. Calling oneself a Dominant or "Dom" is like saying I'm and Angry and your a unangry or I'm a Sad and your an unsad. It is examples such as this that confuse people. In the late 1950's thorugh the mid-nineteen-eighties there was no such things as a seperate group called Dominant or submissive. At least not where I was from. Bear with Me here for a moment. It appears from this escription that a so-called "sub" can have their own opinions and choices. Wow, I don't think that most of the so-called subs on Recon even know that! Then the author goes on to say that the sub has things under its control. While this may be so (I cannot speak for Myself, I have never been a sub) but, as a Master I can tell you that NO subordinate to Me has any control whatsoever. The author goes on to say that although the submissive gives up control the power is still devided 50/50. What is the fucking point of that! The who is the Dom or Master and who is the submissive? Then we get to the real division; "Sex...mostly where the submission enters in." It was so much simpler during the days of the ToolBox or the No Name is San Francisco; one was either a top or a bottom. All these labels now a day...very confusing. If there is someonw reading this can write to Me and enlighten Me as to what a "sub" really is, I would be forever grateful. Oh, and just for shits and giggles, at the moment...uh...I am a Tired.

Slave - As a slave control is given up completely. The power balance is completely tipped in the Dominants direction. However keep in mind this is a choice the slave makes not something she/he was made to do. Slaves usually are slaves 24/7. They may work but when they get home there is no distinction from normal day to a BDSM day, that person is always a slave from the day they ask for that. As a slave sex is still very real and alive however not always the goal and not needed for the Dominant and slave to be in that persona. As a slave the lifestyle is usually more intense in pain, humiliation and just pure pleasure. Something to remember however is that as a slave this does not mean if the Dominant asks you to break the law or hurt yourself that you should obey on a whim. If a Dominant is asking you to do things that are against the law or against your moral values than he or she is not a true dominant.
Thank you! I understand what the author is saying that it may appear that a slave is a slave by choice. However, I disagree. Most authentic slaves that I have ever known would tell you outright that they do not have a choice. Telling a slave that they have a choice is like telling homosexual men that they are homosexual by choice. Na, na, no...A TRUE slave (Who Is a True slave? has no choice, and trust Me on this one...they don't. I have owned and been around the real thing since the AIDS epidemic hit back in the 80's and I can tell you that the slaves that hung around the Power House, The Eagle, and other places in the Mission area of San Francisco are very different than the slaves now-a-day. Those slaves knew their place. However, I contend that it was so because the Masters were real Masters and so the slaves reacted to their presence...which was far more powerful than Masters exhibit today. slaves ARE are naturally submissive and Masters have a natural dominance to their personality. Referring to oneself as a dominant or a submissive, to Me, is a weak position; a person who does not have the guts or understanding to be a Master or a slave. Like I mentioned above; Calling oneself a dominant or a sub is like saying I am an Angry or I am a Bossy, an Assertive, a Commanding. These are all adjectives that DESCRIBE the personality characteristics of a person. It is the same for "submissive;" It would be like saying i am an abject, i am an amenable or i am a subdued. Sound rediculous doesn't it?

Pet - This hasn't always been a classification of a submissive person and is still controversial in some circles. A pet is more on the side of a slave except for one large difference, sex does not have to be involved. In many cases it is not. If you have become a pet it is to give up yourself and obey, you gain pleasure from the control and the obeying not from sexual play. There can be play but it is rare in this kind of lifestyle. This submission is one of the most dangerous because you can lose yourself mentally because you so rarely have thoughts of your own, you usually do not work and although you may discuss things with your Dominant he is last say in all things.
I have a pup slave. I drill him as many times as I can; he is a great fuck and one of the few that can take Me. I tend to really enjoy Myself so I can fuck for a very long time. No complaints from the pup, just happy woofs. it is every bit a slave, but also every bit a pup. I am sure there are other slaves who are 24/7 pups, but I have never had one. So I really cannot comment on this explanation.

Ultimately the deeper you go into submission the stronger you have to be which of course is peculiar since you have to give up more of your control with each level. But you have to be very sure of yourself to give up every ounce of control and thought. Taking each step is serious and should never be taken light by the Dominant and submissive, especially if you want to remain safe, sane, and consensual.

I sort of disagree with this explanation. Or, I should say that I would add something to it. The deeper one goes into submission greatly depends on the strength and power of the Master. It isn't so much that the slave "gives up control" as it is the Master taking control and knowing how to do it. If the slave is a true slave then it will respond to a strong Masters direction. Saying that the slave "gives up control" says to Me that the slave HAS some control. Not in My book they don't. If a slave cannot respond to the Master then the slave is not a slave. Yes, a slave has some control over its own thoughts, however, it is for the Master to determine what that is and take action to own that slave's mental thoughts so that eventually the slave learns the mind of the Master. The slave's thought become only for the Master and it is able to control its thoughts to that end.

Hope that helps some Masters and slaves out there to at least think about and consider what I have espoused here. Not everyone thinks alike. However, none of this is rocket science. Most of what I have to say I try to use My common sense.