Master or Dom?

Difference Between a Master and a Dom

A Master is a man who exerts total or near control over the life of a slave and assumes complete authority over His slave's life. A Master gernerally takes responsibility for protecting the trust that is given to Him by a slave. A Dom generally does not place as many restrictions on a sub. Through protocols the Master places restrictions on the slave's activities and takes an interest in controlling a slave's physical, social, emotional, spiritual and financial well-being. A Master generally employs specific training methods designed to guide the slave's life and increase the slave's potential and worth to the Master. A Dom is more inclined to be more relaxed about these things. But having a dominant nature does not a Master make.

The things that do not make a Master are such things as dishonesty, lack of direction and lack of protocol. One does not need to be an arrogant asshole to be a Master. Yet, sadly, this seems to be what a lot of people on the Internet believe. A Master may be quiet and powerful and He is every bit a Master as a more outgoing loud Master. Whether it can be said that a particular man is a Master or not, at least in the sense of the leather community, is recognized as such because other Masters accept Him as such. More importantly though, a man can be said to be a Master if His behavior is evidence of it. Perhaps Doms want to be Masters because being a Master is the height of achievement in the leather community with respect to lifestyle. To be a Master, a true Master, it must be evident that, first, it is evident that the Man has Mastered His life. Secondly, whether the Master has a dungeon or not or at a minimum $15K in leather toys...DOES NOT MAKE HIM A MASTER. A Master is one becuase He has reached a profoessional point in His life of having the ability to direct not only his own life, but the lives of others...namely a slave.

Another term that has been confused on the Internet is the term "Owner." This term is used many times in conjuction with a man's ownership of a slave. A Man that has control of a slave is not an owner...He is a Master, period. The term owner is gernerally used to describe a man who owns a pup, in regard to Owner/puppy relationships. While a Master can certainly own a pup and man that he controls completely is a slave. Of course it is true in the strictest sense that a Master does own a slave but He is not referred to as an Owner.

Why Doms want to be Masters and subs want to be slaves

Nothing against men who call themselves a Dom, they are just really identifying themselves as a Top and a true Dom is not a switch (meaning He switches from being a Top to a bottom). At least that is the way it used to be. Why does it appear as though every Dom thinks he is a Master? Just having a dominant nature does not automatically make one a Master. Personally I think that Dom's want to be called Master becuase to be the Master of anything means that the individual has reached the pinnacle of achievement in his respective area of interest or education. In the world of BDSM or Leather a true Master is a rarity these days. These are men who have dedicated their lives to the achievement of Mastery of their own lives as well as the ability to master the life of a slave. A true Master seeks to own and control a slave's life. A Master most definitely will deal with His slave in a dominant manner, however, this does not necessarily mean that a Master needs to act agressively all the time. A true Master will Master by His word and actions not his whip or flogger, which is the fun part. A true Master understands perfectly well that a man who identifies himself as asubmissive is doing so voluntarily whereas the slave does not. The true Master comprehends the need for a true slave to serve, to be detached from his ego and to have a purpose in life to please his Master.

In His book "Master/slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice"*, Author Robert J. Rubel, PhD, explains some of the behaviors of a not so good Master or Dom. Below is a paraphrased list of some things to be aware of:

Criticizes other Masters or Doms in his community, including the Internet communities He may belong to.
Tendency to try and dominate other Doms or Masters and tends to believe that His way is the right way and any other way is less than His correct way.
Does not take counsel from others well, especially from other Senior Doms or Masters beccause He feels as though He doesn't have to listen to anyone.
Engages in sel-aggrandizement. takes credit where credit is not due. Makes false claims about things He has done or accomplished with slaves and in the community with nothing to back up His claims.
Has a tendency to onnly cooperate in situations that inure to His benefit. Poor sport.
They have a small and tight knit circle of friends but has a string of previous freinds and relationships behind Him. Inflexible.
Over protective and jealous of His slave(s) restricting them from participating in any events unless He is present.
Tends to be a gossiper and never has good things to say about the good works of others.
Self-effacing, self-centered and egotistical. May have a hand in or build some leather-related organization but rather than serving the community the true purpose is to serve Himself.
Tends to be a braggard who repeatedly seems to be embroiled in some local controversy or flair-up.
May have had slaves in the past but cannot seem to hang on to them for longer than a few months. His explanation for not being able to hold on to a slave for more than a few months is of course always the slaves fault.
His protocols, if He has any, are focused on the sexual aspects of a relationship with a slave.

There are certainly some characteristics of Masters in general that could be confused with the list above. A true Master is naturally dominant but oveall the qualities a competent Master should be exhibited in the following characteristic patterns:

Does not have to sell Himself to a slave by His achievements; His achievements speak for themselves.
Can admit His personal weaknesses without taking away form His authority and works to turn His weaknesses into strengths.
A Man who is emotionally, physically and intellectually equal to or stronger than the slave.
A Man who can demonstrate that He can be responsible for the wellbeing of a slave.
A person who has life experience, knowledge and the wisdom to serve as a Master teacher.
He hs the ability to hold a slave accountable to higher standards.
A Man who exhibits spiritual awareness.
He has the means to establish and maintain and atmosphere of safety.
Someone who is a high level communicator and can mainatin well defined boundaries for the slave and does not confuse a slave by punishing him using methods reserved for sexual play.
Is fair and reasonable when administrering discipline or punishment to a slave.
An honest Man who is straight forward and tells it like it is even though the slave's reaction may be negative.
A Man who can clearly dmeonstrate that He understands the nature of a slave by His appreciation for the gift that the slave brings to the Master by his obedience and submission.
A Man who clearly demonstrates a confident character and demeanor who respects others opinions.
If He has owned slaves or owns slaves will allow communication with them because He has nothing to hide and can demonstrate that he has dealt with His past slaves honorably.
His protocols may be broad and specific in each area of the slave's service to Him.