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Down & Dirty |
I will venture to say that this article might be the most important article of all and should probably be read second in all the articles I have written. This article
stems from a discussion I had with My slaves regarding the setting up of the foundation of a serious Master/salve relationship. One of My slaves (pup slave) borught
up the point that it appeared as though I was not following some of the things I had written in My articles on this Web site. The slave brought up a valuable point,
although he misunderstood My intentions. The things I write about are focused on the Master/slave relationship as it SHOULD BE under the right circumstances.
However, a Master/salve relationship is not always comprised of an experienced Master or an experienced slave. So, inadvertenly My slave gave Me the idea to write
an article about the reality of the Master/slave relationship where either the Master is experienced and the slave is not or the Master is inexperienced and the
slave is experienced. Of course there are instances where neither the Master nor the slave are experienced. In that situatation both Master and slave are learning.
In My case, I have a somewhat experienced slave and two inexperienced slaves. Before I get into telling about My own experiences there is something equally important
that I think ALL Masters and slaves should consider and take into account when they are beginning a new relationship together.
The Things A slave Can Expect
Regardless of whether You have experience as a Master or not; whether you are an experienced slave or not, there are specific things that can be expected when
beginning a Master/slave relationship. First, assume that a slave has moved into the Master's home. What can a slave expect? Notice I did not ask, 'What should a
slave expect?" Every Master has His way of setting down His expectations of a slave. Personally I have a very different method of beginning to train a slave. But
this is not about BDSM or what a Master might expect sexually from a slave nor is it about what a Master expects from a slave with regard to service. The things I am
referring to are not things that are not very or even discussed between a Master and a slave, which are the mental expectations. Unfortunately many Masters and
slaves develop and form mental expectations that are based on illogical reasoning and fantasy that is learned from the Internet. Try and remember that the
Internet companies that run these Web sites zero in on the best marketing scheme to maximize their profits. Therefore, just like any other form of media; television,
magazines, video games, etc., marketing is ALWAYS maximizes the focus of their product and in most instances blow it out of proportion so that it will sell. What
makes Y/you think that Internet companies don't do the same thing? Web sites like Recon, among many, focus on sex within the subject of domminance and submission.
Most of the images that are used on the Internt are specifically designed to attract focus to a specific product. However, the reality of beginning and sustaining a Master/slave
relationship goes much deeper and has far reaching consequences. It is not all BDSM glamour, kidnapping scenes, hairy buff muscled Masters and muscular thin and
well toned slaves. What it means to live the reality of a Master and slave life becomes very clear after the excitement wears off.
Day In and Day Out
In every new Master/slave relationship there are bound to be hiccups or bumps in the road until the slave learns the mind of the Master and the Master begins to learn
things about His slave. Of course much depends on the Master's direction in the beginning. In My experiene throughout the years, I have taken a particular interest in
two specific types of approaches that Masters use to set a foundation for a slave.
Slow Approach (or Mental Approach): This approach of setting a firm foundation for a slave seems to have the best success of keeping slaves. This method is not for every slave. I will explain that statement a little later on. A Master must be able to size up a slave fairly early on, preferably before the slave moves into the Master's home. Let's say that the Master has done this and has chosen a slave that He determines fits into His plans or is a good match for His purposes. The slow method is what I also call the Mental approach. The Mental Approach is by far a more subtle approach that tests a slaves willingness to obey its Owner and also tests the strength and capacity of a slaves abiliity to remain loyal under different, sometimes difficult situations and circumstances. The other method I write about below, takes a much more direct approach with a slave. This Mental Approach can be summed up by saying the main action on the Master's part is that of observation. I find this method to be the most beneficial to a Master when His goal is to build a foundation for a long-term relationship. My reasoning for using observation as My main tool for training a slave and setting a good relational foundation is to flush out the slave's ego. The observation method is perfect for this.Basically the observation method is observing a slave and learning from patterns; patterns that will tell a Master whether the slave is genuine or not or how much training the slave will requier. Other patterns will begin to appear the most prevalent of which will make itself known eventually is the level of the slave's ego and honesty. For the purpose of simplicity and unifying the meaning of the word ego in this context, the Webster's Unabridged Dictionary defines ego as: "1 : the self especially as inside one as contrasted with something outside; pure self-determining activity; part of the personality that is derived from a person's reality; external everyday reality in the interest of preserving the individual". The single most destructive factor in a slave's mental make-up is the strength of his ego. We all know what egotistical means. Generally we equate an out of control ego with a person who does not have a very strong self-esteem. In My eyes a slave must have a good sense of himself. Whether the slave thinks he is a lowly nothing does not mean it has a poor self-esteem. If the slave is settled in his mind and heart that he is a slave and is determined to be the best slave that he can be for his Master then that slave must have a fairly good self-esteem otherwise he could never hope to achieve his Master's approval. (For a more in-depth discusson of the slave with self-esteem and ego issues, see the article entitled Are you A slave?: slaves to Ego. The Observaton method is perfect for flushing out a slave's real personality and the level of its ego. When a Master employs the observation method He is basically letting the slave tell its own inner story. If the Master is patient and allows the slave some space to show its stuff, then the Master stands to learn a great deal about His slave. The only drawback to the observation method is that it cannot be used to the full extent with every slave, especially an experienced slave. A slave's ego can be a very tricky thing for a Master to deal with. Remember the definition of ego; that the ego is interested in preserving the individual. This does not mean that the ego is specifically concerned with preserving the body of the person; more specifically the ego is directly involved with the preservation of a persons learned point of view; their beliefs and their opinions; their perceptions. Many slaves that exhibit ego problems will resort to passive-agressive measures to make their point known or to try and manipulate a Master with things like double-talk in an effort to confuse a Master. At times the slave has no other reason or purpose for behaving this way other than confusing a Master or using double-talk, which becomes a challenge and in some way serves to puff-up a slave's own ego. When a Master patiently employs the Observation Method of training He must understand that this takes time. Time can be the greatest tool a Master has, however He must be prepared to be patient. By employing the Observation Method a slave will eventually reveal his darkest secrets; his stubborn side; his opinions. Just know that when using this method of training a slave can become frustrated. There is no stronger training nor more difficult training than mental training. One of the things that I do, especially in the beginning with a new slave is to keep a journal of each slave and what I learn about their personalities. Using a journal helps to identify patterns over time and it also helps the Master to see how a slave is either progressing or regressing.How It Works: Fist of all consider the meaning of the word observation: "an act or the faculty of observing or taking notice : an act of seeing or fixing the mind upon something; an act of recognizing and noting some fact or occurrence; a conclusion drawn from observing : VIEW, REFLECTION (Webster's Third New International Dictionary, Unabridged. Merriam-Webster, 2002. http://unabridged.merriam-webster.com (9 Jul. 2011)). The result of observation, of observing is perception. Perception is basically direct or intuitive recognition or intelligent discernment based on observation which creates insight. So basically what I am saying is that observation allows a Master time to build insight into a slave's true character. A person posing as a slave, whether it is a conscious act or not, cannot maintain a falsehood for very long. What I mean by "posing" as a slave does not mean that I think the slave is lieing. A person can easily convince himself he is a slave just from the force of power of his own fantasies. If the slave is not authentic or genuine it will show in a short amount of time. In essence I believe that every slave, no matter what their experience must go through a test period. The test period is specifically designed to test the slave's orientation. The orientation period shakes out all of the dross (" the solid scum that forms on the surface of a metal (as lead, antimony) when molten or melting largely as a result of oxidation but sometimes of the rising of dirt and impurities to the surface"). Once a slave has indicated that he has accepted Me as his Master then I basically close the door. This does not mean I disown the slave. I will not own the slave until I have accepted it. The slave accepts Me first, which gives Me the right to train it, but it does not mean I have accepted the slave until it meets with My approval. So, I shut the door on the slave, which means I observe and watch as the impurities begin to rear their ugly heads. This is the greatest source of frustration for the slave, but in order to be able to get into the slaves mind and heart he must go through fire. Here is a slave that thinks it is ready to give itself and yet it is not accepted. The slave must be able to see with his own mind and heart that this is an inevitable testing of his resolution and stability. In Lao Tzu's words: Keep slave Busy Approach: Many inexperienced Masters are ignorant of the Mental Approach becuase they have incorrectly learned from the Internet that the only method of training a slave is through punishment or BDSM. I call this the "Keep the slave busy" approach meaning that when the slave gives itself to a Master and moves in with the Master to serve Him, the slave must hit the ground running...somtimes very fast. What I mean by this is that an inexperienced Master gives neither Himself nor the slave any space to really get to know each other. Serving these Masters is like a living in a perpetual scene; everey day is something new. Unfortunately, not only does the Master never really get to know the slave but the chances of the slave burning out are very high. It is unrealistic to expect that a slave, unless they are very experienced and have been owned before, to be able to literally hit the ground running without any time or space to get its head in line with the Masters home or the Master's thinking. I hate to keep harping on the subject but, in the old days a slave was the one that showed initial interest in serving a Master. Masters back then did not claim a slave unless the slave gave himself to the Master. When a slave showed interest in a particular Master he let the Master know. It was, of course, up to the Master whether He accepted the slave or not. I lived in San Francisco, Los Angeles, Palm Springs, Sacramento and Boston and I never knew of a Master who announced His claim on a slave He did not know (for a little while at least).So back to the original topic about How It Works with Masters that use the "keep the slave busy" method. First of all, it is My experience that most authentic slaves already have a desire to serve, all they need to know is what to do. The how to do it is second to the what to do. By its nature a slave has a submissive nature. As I mention above, it is very important for a Master to learn as much about His slave as possible in the shortest amoount of time. On first receiving the new slave many uninformed and inexperienced Masters will immediately begin dictating orders to the slave. In part I think that new Masters do this becuase they themselves are nervous and it gives the Master time to get His own act together. Many inexperienced Masters treat the new slave like an annoying child; keeping it busy and out of His hair. I strongly caution against this for the simple reason that the Master does not allow the slave to show its true colors and it does not allow the slave to really observe his new Master. My method is to allow the slave time to observe Me and in turn I observe the slave. I want to know what the slave is capable on his own. I want to see the slave learning how to serve its Master. When a new slave comes to Me I first tell it to relax. Just to note: This is certainly not necessary with all slaves. If the new slave is experienced and has served a Master before, especially if it has served an appreciable amount of time with its former Master, then the slave is likely going to hit the ground running and have a good idea of what to look for in the way of serving his Master. A slave that has no or minimal experience will take longer to acclimate itself to the Master and His home. Another potential pitfall for the ill-informed or inexperienced Master is His over-eagerness to get benefits from the slave. I can tell you that the typical first day for a slave is the Master gets it home and can hardly wait to fuck his new property. After that the Master thinks He needs to send some message to the slave by just getting up and leaving the new slave in the bedroom or dungeon or wherever. I know because I have done that. It is extremely important that the first time the Master take the slave from the bedroom or the dungeon and bind the slave in some way within eyeshot. Gagging the slave is also a good idea. It is like using a prized possession and then putting it away for the next use. Don't just leave the slave hanging. Give the new slave a chance to stay immobile and think about his new situation. It will help the slave to think and appreciate his place and set the tone for the Master's way of doing things. Of courese it is not going to be the same for all Masters and slaves but the key is for the Master to set the tone right from the start. Keeping the slave busy right from the start prevents the slave from really settling in and also prevents the Master from seeing what the slave is capable of. What exactly do I mean by this? If the slave is new and has never been owned before it will at first feel out of place and will need some guidance from its Master. The slave will feel awkward and antsy wondering what it should do becuase it will feel like it has to do soemthing to begin providing service to his Master. The first thing I do is give the slave a tour of the house. Since I have multiple slaves I order My most senior slave to take the slave around the house. For the single slave Master, do it Yourself. Show it around the house explaining bits and pieces of things You want it to know. Even if You give the slave some immediate task the slave is not going to know where things go. In the beginning even with an experienced slave, the first thing a Master should do is to get the slave familiar with Your home. Once You have shown the slave where it will sleep, where it is to go to the bathroom, etc., then leave the slave by itself and begin to observe it. An authentic slave will begin to make it his business to learn everything he can about his new Master and home. Again, even a new slave will try to serve its Master in the simplest ways by observing You. Let it. Don't be too much in a hurry to give the slave things to do. Let him observe Your environment and Your actions. If the slave does not know to do that, then it may take some suggestions from You to direct the slave to observe You. If the slave has a strong willingness then he will try to do things all on his own. Let him. Set it straight when the slave screws up, but each time it screws up is an opportunity for the Master to teach a slave exactly how He wants something. That is the beauty of the pbservation method. Let the slave tell You what he needs and what he is capable of; You don't have to order him around for every single little thing. Doing that will just make the Master exhausted and most likely burn the slave out. Equally important for the Master is to not be so quick to punish the slave for things it could not possibly know becuase it is new to Your house and Your habits. Many slave, especially American slaves**, still want to feel that they are safe. Make it feel safe by being fair. If the slave does something wrong becuase it did not have the information or you did not tell it what to do then don't punish it for those reasons but tell it why You are not punishing it. A slave wants to please its Master. It is truly a rare slave that has such a disciplined ego that it requires to praise or notice from its Master. I always say that if I am not bitching at the slave then it must have done a good job. A Master should not have to pat the slave on the back every time it does something right. Who is serving who? A Master needs to devise ways of letting a slave know it is performing to His specifications. One thing I would however recommend is to shackle the slave as soon as it is in Your house. Shackling a slave will help it to focus better. Don't be underfoot or hang around and stare at the slave to make sure it does everyting perfectly. If you want to keep this slave for any appreciable amount of time then You must be prepared to build a good foundation; firmly; strong and dependable. These are the things many slaves seek aside from obvious things like a Master that fucks it brains out frequently. Make your slaves earn their play time with you. Remember there is no such thing as a free lunch. Tell the slave what to do or what you expect of it and then leave the room and let the slave figure his way on his own. I can tell You one thing; the slave will learn things in a shorter amount of time and You will get on his case less about simple things. Some simple rules are:How It Works: First of all two general types of Masters fall into this category. They are the inexperienced who have learned most of what they know from the Internet. The other is the Master who has just enough experience under his belt to be dangerous; meaning that these Masters are mostly misinformed or ignorant of the correct way of obtaining and owning a slave. These Masters are likely to be the ones that try and claim a slave over the Internet without ever knowing anything about the slave at all. Masters wonder why thier slaves don't stay very long and if the slave does stay for a while, the Master wonders why the slave seems miserable. Any slave that knows a little bit about how things work in the Master/slave world of structured dominant relationships won't give the time of day to a Master who demands ownership of the slave. Finding a genuine slave that is honest and has the propensity for being loyal to his Master is a rare animal these days. However, I contend that it is far more difficult to find a Man who actually deserves to be called Master. Anyone can put on leather and wear it like a uniform in order to look the part. Mr. S is happy to sell Master-type leather clothes and gear to anyone who will pay. Years ago a Master made His own leather clothing.
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